COLDHEART

After a random Youtube search this morning, I found myself watching one of the two Care Bears pilot episodes from ‘way back when’. The Land without Feelings (1983) was the debut of The Care Bears and their arch nemesis Professor Coldheart.

I first viewed this on TV AM 25 years ago (1985) after my mum videotaped it for me (on our trusty Betamax!).

The story is simple: A boy named Kevin is moving away and he’s none too happy. He’s moving away from his old neighbourhood and his best friend Donna and decides he now wants to be emo and not care about anything. On top of this, he runs away and ends up in a rundown park. This is no ordinary park for in eventually leads to The Land without Feelings – a place once pretty and full goodness before Professor Coldheart moved in.

A quarter century later, and I have picked up how actually dark this pilot episode is in places. ‘The Land without Feelings’ backdrop provides a grim image and a great insight to the depressing world Professor Coldheart. The design of the barren wasteland of swamps, Burton-esque trees, gothic roses and swamps clearly mirrors the otherwise candy coated land of Care-A-Lot where the bears reside.

Coldheart Castle is based in the centre of the Land without Feelings and The Professor soon spots Kevin feeling sorry for himself through his telescope. This implies the Prof has nothing better to do but to watch out for kids through his telescope (sounds sketchy I know). This pilot episode informs that many kids have gone missing and as a result end up being transformed into slippery green creature minions for Professor Coldheart, (and this eventually happens to Kevin after being lured in).

Kevin’s friend Donna teams up with the Care Bears after they spend the first quarter of the episode bickering amongst themselves about solo missions to go and search for the missing lad.

The bears end up tackling the many obstacles of the wasteland to get the Castle Coldheart and give the Prof a stomping. It wasn’t an easy quest as the castle was armed with all sorts of freaky gadgetry that takes out the group of bears one or two at a time. When I mean freaky gadgetry I am talking about the spotlight gun, the giant dart and a giant freeze fan. The journey portion of this episode is a good showcase of the Care Bears and how useful their powers are with a little imagination used (especially by Tenderheart Bear).



Eventually The Care Bears and Donna end up in the castle, thanks to some bailing out from Wish Bear’s wish making ability. This is where the collaborative power of the Care Bear Stare is first introduced. For those who don’t remember or have a clue, the stare involves the bears standing side by side and a tummy symbol fireworks display ensues. The Care Bear stare turns all the green things back into children as Coldheart does a runner.

How Professor Coldheart and his enslaving of emo kids and destroying a cheerful landscape are never picked up on the Care Bears radar (as well as the Land without Feelings) is baffling. Maybe all their arguing before eventually deciding to group together (for the first time) explains this.

The Land without Feelings is enough of an eyesore to be spotted from space, and Google maps yet the Care Bears never noticed it. It took one runaway boy for the ‘fuzzy wuzzies’ to stumble upon this and Professor Coldhearts operations. Yeah, it’s ‘just’ a ‘kid’s show’, but nowadays even the writers of modern toons won’t underestimate how intelligent the viewers are (whatever the age).

This re-visited Care Bears experience reminded me of how sinister and scary Professor Coldheart really is. Perhaps even unsung up to other 80’s villains like Skeletor and Mumm-Ra. The only reason the Prof isn’t as scary as he could be is because he’s in animation form. Then again, you only have to type up ‘Richard Dawkins’ in Google to gain an idea of what a live action version would be like. I mean this in jest of course.

Like in most 80’s toons; there are showcases of teamwork, reformation from evil to good, caring about everything and helping others. It’s a good intro for the Care Bears and what the creators are trying to convey with these characters beyond the American Greetings cards they originated from. Certainly worth at least a one off watch for either a trip down memory lane, an MST Mickey-take with rowdy pals, or if multi-coloured symbol themed bears who help kids take your fancy. I watched this episode for reason one and wouldn’t mind the opportunity to have a crack at reason two.