CLEAN

I’ve been asked on numerous occasions what I thought of the third Transformers movie (Dark of the Moon) after I went to go watch it a fortnight ago.

For me, it was the crushing blow. The Michael Bay interpretation of Transformers has given me a headache I will never forget. Dark of the Moon (2011) was an impressive, yet busy ‘more than meets the eye’ fighting robot experience; but once again full of irrelevant and random silliness that was an unwelcome ingredient of the previous two films. And that was just the start.

To its credit, the Bay Trilogy has made Hasbro a lot of money and delivered commercial success again to the Transformers brand. The Bay Trilogy had also imagined skilfully what Transformers might look like if they were real beyond fiction. The ‘ugly’ designs actually grew on me a bit. However, the bad really outweighs the good in the case of this movie trio.

This structured portrayal of Transformers is so wrong on many accounts. In a nutshell; the attitude, characters, storylines and general execution are all just done badly. What I feel should have been a family series of films has turned out to be something unnecessarily smutty, sinister, air-headed and masochistic. Since when was the heroic Optimus Prime a merciless cold-blooded killer? 

I feel that many have accepted this version of Transformers because it is simply there and there is no silver screen alternative (yet). In short, I think many have just ‘made do’ and made the best of what has been offered. Beggars can’t be choosers, right?

I cannot endorse this version of Transformers, especially to children. These films are easily 15+ affairs, but the merchandise based on it is aimed at a younger market. It makes me wonder what the suits were thinking in regards to target audience. The trilogy feels like a big mess, and I am not just talking from a moral standpoint. It certainly feels like a lot of wrong choices were made in the process.

I am certainly done with this era of 'tainted' Transformers history. Here is hoping the Bayverse is a stepping stone into something better. I gave the 3 films a chance, but I feel now is the time to dismiss them. I am sure there are fans of this Transformers medium and everyone in the fandom likes what they like (and are entitled to), but I won’t own the DVDs or view any future features if they continue in its direction. I am happily washed of it all.

Hasbro and Paramount seriously should consider a clean slate.  No pun intended.

Now, Transformers: Prime! A medium with so many praises to be sung from a long term changing bot fan such as me. Stay tuned readers!

SILVER

Some thoughts on the Bayformer depiction of Sideswipe.

I like the design. Sideswipe looks hardcore and up for a scrap as he's expected to be. The swords gimmick is a cool idea and I hope he has Vin Deisel or someone provide his voiceover. The thing about this design I am none too keen on is his new Silver paintjob.

Sideswipe should be red surely?

As Steven Speilberg once spoke about his movie Duel (1971) that he used a Red car because it looked great on camera and that it was visable amongst the dust. (BTW, Duel is awesome - go rent it out!).

Take a look at the General Lee in Dukes of Hazzard. That red car is incredably powerful on camera and noticable. The same can be said with the red Cortina and red Quatro driven by Gene Hunt in Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes. Even the A-Team van is stale without a red stripe.

What I am getting at is that red is probably the best choice for a vehicle in a fast paced and action setting. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen had this opputunity with a well known Red sports car character who vetrean Transfans will know is capable of kicking mass afterburner on screen.

I liked the new design for Sideswipe, but I think red was the best choice for the character, not just from a fan point of view but also media point of view.

I am sure Hasbro will release the toy version in red as well as silver to keep fanboys happy, but I prefer to think of the Hollywood blockbuster first.

I am sure Speilberg's company Dreamworks will have a good answer to this colour incorrection, although I'm still waiting for an explaination behind giving Starscream turkey legs in robot mode :P.

Despite my disaproval of Sideswipe's paintjob, I am happy that he's been cast/rendered for Revenge of the Fallen and looking really forward to it.