HURT

My struggle continues for me and all I can do is take every crushing blow as it comes.

I feel like there are good people in my life right now I don't deserve to know and I've let them down or never been a good enough person in thier lives in return.

I was listening to a song recentley which I think lyrically suits the way I feel right now, especially at the times I can actually feel around this numbness. A great peice written by Trent Reznor of NIN and later made more popular by the late Johnny Cash's cover.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go

I hope that whatever comeback I may make from this ordeal if at all will be a fantastic one at least.

The shackles are tight right now.

....

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way