DOWNFALL

Looks like after a big mix up with the hand in dates it would seem that I should have handed in my large 4,000 word Contemporary Screen Media assignment in a week ago.

I've made a real dogs dinner of this and that's like 50% of my final grade down the sewers.

I will still have it finished and handed in but a third of the mark that this paper is worth will be amputated as punishment by whoever is marking it. Rules is rules I am afraid.

I smell a repeat assignment over the summer.

Totally Bogus!

Still... If anyone can help and feels they have a good opinion in regards to video game licenses being made into movies please drop me an e-mail ASAP to ken@melted.com. I need contact to be by e-mail for quoting in my bibliography at the bottom of the paper. The University will need it to be that way in case they check up I have not made up someone online to get some leverage with the work.

In the meantime I have an evaluation that needs finishing for handing in by 2pm tommorrow.

Must press on.

PUNISHED

The Peacemaker…

The misery of workload and difficult people continues to be a thorn in my side in the form of one problem happening on top of the other.

The demands: one after the other wanting to pull me in eight different directions like I am the Kelloggs Variety Octopus or something.

“Do this Ken!”

“Then that Ken!”

“Your stuff is crap Ken!”

People are getting ticked off at me because I care and worry for them. I do things out of trying to help them and all I get is resentment in return.

“You were out of order Ken!”

“Thanks for caring, but no Thanks!”

I see the doctor about my stress and I get

“Go to that website Ken”

“Go see these people Ken”

“There’s a help group starting in x months time Ken”.

“Go see a Student Counsellor at University then Ken!”

I want a second opinion please!

“I don’t care you are late because the bus driver decided he couldn’t be bothered to drive the bus so he can have an hour long fag break, it’s all YOUR FAULT Ken!”

Patronising people… I really want to smack them. The comments of hurt are still sticking to me like a bad rash. I can’t shake it off and it’s like I am crumbling away inside.

People keep hurting me. I will eventually need to hurt back. It’s wrong I know but carnal desire to destroy in self defence is tugging away like mad.

I visualise the peacemaker gun… Shall I load it with love and continue to fire it at others or change the ammo let rip on those who hurt me and then turn around and do a Tyler Durden on ones self.

It does not rain but it pours.

God is either punishing me… or maybe this is a test. I know I deserve to roast for things I have done. Punishment would explain a lot.

I wish I knew…

I still have a lifeline.

Whatever punishment or test comes my way… Babyface till I die.

SUFFER

It has'nt been an easy 2 months for yours truely.

Inside the workload of University has trebbled, quadrupled and the information overload has been an oppression on me I have so far managed to hide. That oppression has started to seep through

"go see a doctor Ken"

I must have done something to be allowed to suffer internally with this torment.

"get anger management counseling Ken"

I really want to hit something or someone.

"we all suffer sometimes Ken"

I've had enough...

"go to church and get help Ken"

I know there will be those who will enjoy the thought of me depressed, angry, sad and wanting to quit.

"we believe in you Hero, remember the babyface shine"

Enjoy it while it lasts chumps! I have come back from worse and I am stilll alive and I don't intend on moving anytime soon.

I must endure...


Perhaps this is a test.


...